been having insomnia for this whole week..
think its got to do with getting back my result on friday..
and whenever i think of things,
its just happens to be midnight..
i rememeber someine saying something like "lots of things happens in the midnight, like when your brain can think better at night etc"
wonders how am i goanna survive for work and band tml?

its just plain awful, when you know that something or should i say an event is happening, yet you arent invited to join in or should i say inform.
i personally feel that its like as if im transparant, like im not important and all these makes me feel outcasted.
i realised i have a habit of always rejecting people. they may ask me out for the first time , second time and the thrid time, but by the fourth time, im out of the game.
i also understands that being rejected three times in a row, you wont ask this person out again.
however, do you know that when you ask, i might really wanna go out and chill and such as i know that, while, at least i still hold some place in yours heart and i cannot keep on letting you down.
the outing may not be those that i really adore, for example going to eat or just get chilling at home. but, when i realised that "hey, i think i need to rekindle the friendship as they are impt to me", i will just go along. its the process and quality time spents that counts isnt it?
unlike minority people, i wont go ahead and ask " are you all having steamboat/baking? can i join you guys?"
i definitely wont do it, as my skin isnt so thicked.
but the worse thing is when im not even inform of it, till the event hass passed.
and the reason they give was " i thought you would not wanna join" or the worst case scenario- they dont even bother to ask or give an excuse.
this action makes me feel that,woah..im not impt..no one cares about a shit of what happens to me..and this will cause me to feel outcasted, which in terms build up a even stronger barrier between anyone and me..
i mean, if it happens to any tom,dick or harry, wont ya be as mad/dissapointed as me?
human definitely needs attention isnt it, espicially from the ones they care.
this will give them a sense of belonging.




darn...working in 7 hours time..=/

hlstory at 1:33 AM | Comment

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